The photo isn’t particularly relevant to the following topic, but heck, photos are fun to look at. The strings of headlamp glow spanning a length of this lava tube cave, though, are somewhat metaphorical to the meaning of segue, a word that until a few nights ago I had a serious issue with. Yawn, whatever, but up until then I thought "segue" was spelled “segway,” and would be perplexed when I’d type the latter and see that condescending red spell check line pop up underneath. It’s just one of these trendy new buzzwords, I’d thought, the technology hasn’t caught up yet. Segue, or segway, is used almost endlessly in class discussions I’ve experienced. I thought maybe it came from the invention of those ridiculous wheeled pogo sticks that don't even bounce. It might take my intuitional confidence a while to recover after learning from the Merriam Dictionary that segue is spelled as such and dates back to 1740.
I was reading “The Amazing Buddha Boy,” by George Saunders. This is the first nonfiction thing I’d read by the funniest and wackiest short story writer out there today. The article is about the author’s journey to Nepal to witness a 15 year old boy who was reportedly surviving after spending seven months without eating or drinking, subsisting solely on meditation. Anyway, I read “segue” in the text, was nonplussed by the context (it can’t be, it musn’t, how can “way” come from “ue”?), so I looked it up. Now I just have to somehow retract any emails I’ve typed segway in…
But back to Segway, the two wheeled goof that failed to revolutionize personal transportation. I was amused and horrified to see there is actually a Segway Adventure model that “takes you off the beaten path and turns you on to the powerful thrill of nature.” It weighs 120 pounds, goes up to 12.5 miles an hour (like mountain biking without all that terrible exercise) and can go only 12 miles, off road, before needing a charge. If I am ever hiking and see an Adventure doubling the width of a lovely 12 inch trail with its preposterous existence, I’m going to, well, really I’d probably just smile and nod at the rider and then silently fantasize about stealing their Adventure and then running them over with it.
See for yourself (photo from the Segway website, as are the quote and specs above)...
